Episode 15: Thus Spracht the Megginator

How many days had it been? She was not sure, one, two, three...it didn't matter. In her world just one day was months. She had been happy in her home, but then she was dragged from it's familiar confines and taken to an alien domicile. Oh, the patrons were friendly enough- playing with her and giving her treats and pats on the head, but that did nothing to lessen the rage that was building inside her. The Masters had left her for the weekend, and now they had returned and carried on with life as though nothing had happened. Somewhere in her minuscule brain a spark of a plan had formed, growing in it's diabolical complexity until it had reached fruition, and the time for it's execution was at hand. Soon, the Masters would be leaving for the day, and then they would know the fullness of her wrath. Oh yes, they would pay...and pay dearly. Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Today I was greeted at the front door by Meg. To some of you that doesn't seem all that unusual, but for me that greeting could only be met with apprehension. You see, Meg is not allowed to roam the house when we are not home. We have tried that in the past. It only led to tears. I was surprised to find that the bathroom door was still closed, so how was it that she was able to get out? Please turn your attention to Exhibit A.

What you see appears to be a certain Australian Shepherd escaping through what? A hole in the wall between the kitchen and the bathroom?!!! Why the heck is there a hole where there should be drywall? Was Ed that sloppy? I say unto you: Nay. Behold, this calamity was wrought upon me by none other than....Project Manager Meggie herself!!!! Yes! The dog busted a hole through the wall and got loose into the house! How could this have happened?

A little background...

You might recall a comment I made on the last post that mentioned how Meg had managed to turn on the water in the bathroom and get soaked. She was sneezing for days, and not just any sneeze. These were the kind of sneezes that made you want to call for an exorcist. A few weeks ago I had to bust out part of the bathroom floor to replace the toilet drain. This left a small hole under the wall into the kitchen. Meg figured out that if she tucked in her ears really tight and sucked in her gut she could just squeeze under the wall, past the plumbing, and into the kitchen. Since that time concrete has been poured back into that hole and any passage to the kitchen was blocked. The Megginator, however, did not realize this. Hence the water issue. Having tasted freedom, she has continued to try to dig her way out of the bathroom. She has learned that concrete is a lot tougher than gravel. She has also learned that if she tries too hard she might accidentally turn on the water valve for the toilet and end up spending an undetermined amount of time taking a cold shower. Drywall has proven to be a much softer target. I can only imagine the sight of her clawing and beating her head against the wall until it finally gave out, exploding and raining debris into the kitchen. Then, through the dust, the silhouette of the Megginator, glowing eyes and all, slowly stepping out of the haze. She surveys her work and then with a triumphant howl announces that her revenge is complete!!!

Oh yeah, the revenge part. We went to Michigan for my grandfather's birthday this weekend. We left Meg with my Mom, where apparently she did quite well. She seems determined to make us pay for leaving her, though. She did escape through the newly christened Nutmeg Tunnel, and then found a box of granola bars to devour. Just so you know, dogs should never have granola. I will not detail why this is so. Just know that nothing good can ever come of the pairing of canines and high fiber. Nothing!!!